COMMIT TO IT and DO IT

Are You Living Your Best Life?

What is your best life? Will you recognize it when you are living it? We are in Germany this week where I was given the keynote speaking title of “Commit to it and Do it.” I knew instantly this would be a great topic for you, as well. In order to live your best life, you need to achieve your goals. In order to achieve your goals, there are a few things everyone must know and few get the opportunity to truly embrace and experience. You have to commit to what matters before you set goals or you will set goals that everyone else says you “should” have for your life. Truth is we only achieve goals that we WANT. So what do you want?

“Why would you do that?”

Everyone thinks Scott and I are crazy. We bought a run down bowling alley that does not pay for itself and requires a great amount of time, energy and money. Then a few weeks ago, we sold our “easy money” mobile home park that only required 5 hours a month of our time. Why would we do such a thing?

The answer is VALUES!

Values are what matters most to you, what is most important to you. What do you assign the most honor/worth to in your life? What are the top principles that guide every aspect of your life? Truth is when your values are running the show, you will achieve your goals, you will love your life and you will be in a consistent process of healthy growth that will propel you to your next level. Just as true, when you drift away and inadvertently value ‘other’ things, misery follows.

Values are the magic ingredient to Healthy growth.

Why does this matter? Because, we are all in a process of growth. We are either in a Healthy Sustainable Cycle of Growth or growing in an Unhealthy manner (like cancer) which “offramps” us into the Cycle of Misery. Living from your values as you navigate your growth process keeps you moving effortlessly through each stage of the process.

6 Steps to Achieve Your Goals

Here are 6 steps on how to COMMIT to living your values, to design your best life, reach your goals and grow to your next level.

Step One

Clarity on your values is everything

Do you know your top 3-5 core values? If not, then the first step is to discover and define the 3-5 principles that serve as your Northstar, if you will. We are not inventing them or creating them, we are unearthing them, discovering them. They are already within you, you may simply be lacking clarity. Be encouraged, they are there, they just might be buried under a bunch of dysfunctional, busy, monkey brain, shame-filled nonsense.

Step Two

Organize your life around these top values  

Attune your daily actions, your daily habits to embrace and focus on what supports your values. This is where you intentionally set goals based on your values (not the other way around) and organize your schedule and intentions to honor them. One practical exercise is to journal the intersections between your values and your passions to ensure you are thriving in your Healthy Process of Growth.

Step Three

Make difficult decisions to uphold and honor your values

Prune everything out of your life that does not aid you in living your best life. Look at your calendar, your to-do list, your checkbook and be ruthless. Then you will have plenty of clear space to create opportunities for the good stuff. All of your priorities should reflect these values. When you are faced with an important decision, the choice becomes clear when you run it through your top core values. It actually enables decision making to be easier. Just make sure you have someone to hold you accountable and to encourage you as you begin to uphold these values as a plumb line for your life.

Step 4

Misery is a sign you are not living by them

Misery was the lightbulb for Scott and me regarding the mobile home park. One day after complaining about our trailer park misery, we realized this didn’t fit with our core values. Sure, we were making decent money, but we were stressed and depressed just thinking of having to spend one minute on that place. It became a tension between us as I would hate feeling like a nag and he hated having to deal with any issues involving tenants’ trash or barking dogs. Finally, we got clarity and made a tough decision that brought us joy - we sold it! Money is not one of our core values, we like money, but not when it sucks the ever-living-life out of us. So we “on-ramped” back into the abundant life by selling that sucker, and we couldn’t be happier.

Step 5

Invest in what you are passionate about and de-invest what you are not.

Double down on what you value and are passionate about. Scott and I value relationship building, and investing in our community of people. When we got clarity that being landlords was not only an area of misery, but did not honor our value of loving people, it made selling it a very good idea. For us, it was not so much a time investment issue as an energy drain that led us to the de-investment. Think about, “What drains my energy” and de-invest quickly! Then ask “Does this brings me energy and joy”, double down. I know for us, with the cleared space, we have already come up with alternative ideas to make a little bit more money based on what we love to do. We are certain more will come.

Step 6

Trust Yourself is the reward of living by your values. When you can trust yourself, you can easily commit to your best life. We will use the DO IT acrostic to emphasize this point and actions you take.

Do not compromise your values, ever! And when you do, it is called offramping and misery follows. Fail fast and have your onramp person or team, such as your coach, forum, or accountability partner support you to get back on track, fast!

Openly live your values so that everyone knows what you stand for and can help you stay on your path. When we talk about our values outloud, we will succeed in achieving the goals, because our brain wants us to live in integrity where we align our words, thoughts and actions.

Instincts, aka go with your gut, to make immediate and reliable decisions that support your values. When we refuse to compromise our values and we openly walk in clarity, we have the reward of, when it matters, trusting our gut to take quick actions and seize opportunities. We can trust our instincts when our conscience is clear and our integrity is aligned with what matters most to us deep inside.

Truth Telling is the fuel to living your values

The first person you must listen to is YOU. Personal integrity is about being true to yourself. Sadly, the hardest person to keep your word to is you. We let ourselves off the hook for the most baseless reasons. For example, if I make the intention to go to the gym, but then my husband wants to cook me breakfast, I skip the workout in a moment's notice without another thought. I would never do that to anyone else, stand them up, because I got a better offer. Just as important is to surround yourself with an army of truth tellers. You must have trusting relationships with a few people who will tell you the truth, they won’t hesitate to highlight the good things nor address the hard things that you need to hear. Having truth tellers in your corner is essential however, few people intentionally invite them in.

Now, Enjoy the Journey of Achieving

Going after your goals is exactly what you should be doing…AFTER Committing to living a life focused on what matters most to you. Here are your parting words

Commit to it, Focus on it  …and enjoy the journey of DOING IT.

It is time to dream big.

What could your life look like if you were fully invested in achieving the goals that supported you living a life around your values? And for all my fellow ROI people, don’t worry the money will follow. Or better yet you will have the life you want and money won’t matter because of the peace, joy, and fulfillment you have everyday of your life.

DREAM BIG because you have a unique gift to offer the world through those values that are precious to you.

One final word, if you have been following our podcast, Lead For Clarity, we are discussing this exact thing via our Shandel Group’s playbook for Healthy Sustainable Growth, that we affectionately call “The Process.” It is all focused on leading from values, so be sure and grow with us this season. And a shameless plus for Melanie’s 12 week coaching program includes defining your personal values and then your organization’s core values. Get it for yourself or someone else for Christmas. They will thank you!

Your Coach,

Be The Best You Can Be Today!

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SUTHERLAND FAMILY UPDATE!

We alluded to it above, but Scott and I are having a blast owning an old vintage bowling alley,  Sierra Bella Lanes in Quincy, CA. Scott is amazing at working on the pinsetters and cooking the most amazing burgers ever! He is living his best life and bringing joy to so many people.

Melanie Montgomery took over the Lead For Clarity podcast, runs the Shandel Group administration world, and taking her coaching clients to their next level. That leaves Scott time to sermon prep. That’s right, we started a little church called “The Alley” that meets on the approach. LOL!  We love it and we get to co-teach every Sunday. Here is our podcast if you want to check us out.

Shandel Group is a blast in this season of life. Tomorrow, I get to keynote at the female entrepreneur of the year award with my dear friend Deb Hey and then we are traveling to do a female only bootcamp for a few days next week. It is so fun to have Scott along with me on this adventure and be touching lives abroad as they touch ours.

We hope to send out Thanksgiving cards (may be Valentines, so don’t hold your breath), BUT please send me your updated address and I love to hear from you all during this season as well. Our Quincy mailing address is P.O. Box 1084 Quincy, CA 95971 even if we have not moved yet!! Our old Reno address works as well. And I for one love the long letters giving the whole year synopsis of your kids, grandkids, and pets.

You are precious to us!

Shandel, Scott and Bella